In the age of digital media, I am among the majority who opt for a phone camera to capture everyday moments for future reminiscence. The strange thing about this is that after a while, all these moments just sort of blend into a blur and occasionally, staring at a photo cannot even conjure the particular moment in which it was taken. The phenomenon is especially acute when we tend to snap photos indiscriminately, with the comfortable thought that our digital gallery is limitless, immortal, and indestructible thanks to cloud technology. Home videos are now shot and produced more easily than ever, with video recording tools built-in to the little smartphone device. The most simple, fast, and easy way to capture an experience is to whip out one’s phone to snap pictures of it, either to keep it to oneself or share with friends and the world through various social media channels.
A while ago, as we were having dinner at a little Italian restaurant in NYC, we recalled our experience of eating at a different branch of the same restaurant in Rome two years before. The restaurant chain serves a specialized street food dish called trapizzino which I’m sure I had taken photos of the first time I visited the place in Rome. Yet, when I was reminded of my prior visit to the Roman location, what I could remember most vividly wasn’t the food itself, whose photo was taken but barely revisited since then. Instead, I recalled little details of the conversations we had had that day in 2019, the Queen playlist blasting in the background, and the line of people waiting to use the restroom at the back of the restaurant (I know how ridiculous this sounds). This made me realize how my memory of past experiences could be linked to the most random, ordinary things without me being aware of it. Memories do not need any permanent, tangible record to survive. What I’m realizing now is that there are a few powerful elements that help us make and keep memories without the help of digital tools.
Being very present in the moment is one thing. I have noticed that being present allows me to soak in all the little aspects of my surrounding that would otherwise slip through my attention. Presence doesn’t have to mean directing all my concentration towards one particular thing in front of me, but generally taking in all that there is around me in conjunction with one another. Background noise can enhance the content of a conversation at the foreground, and even some activities happening in my peripheral vision could add to the experience in the moment. Noticing these aspects is semi-conscious and not necessarily involving targeted attention, but you may be surprised to recall the most random and silly combinations that simply make a moment distinguishable from others.
I like having long, thoughtful conversations with people around me. These conversations are another element that helps me recall even the most ordinary settings in which the dialogues were held. Of course there are times when I’m so focused on the topic of discussion that I barely get the chance to notice my surrounding. Yet, immersing in a train of thought and an active discourse possibly conditions my brain to not mindlessly pass my time. My being in a certain place and at a certain time to engage in a conversation is much easier to remember if the contents of said conversation ever pops up in my mind. Plus, conversing with a person or a group would naturally make it a shared experience, and such a memory wouldn’t get lost when there are more than one individual to recall. If someone is particularly in touch with their emotions when conversing, emotionality can add another layer to the intensity and clarity of memory.
With time I’ve grown to recognize the importance of both presence and engaging conversations. They make everyday moments more memorable, enjoyable, and meaningful. I’m not letting go of the habit of snapping pictures whenever I spot a scene which I find remarkable and would want an accurate visual of. But I’ve also learned that while a picture is quite often worth more than a thousand words, my immersion in the moment of experience is what makes the experience truly distinct and special, no matter how ordinary it seems.