This post is the first in a five-part blog series in which I capture my initial thoughts on my newly started PhD education, drawing from literature and discussions about the doctoral journey itself.
Oftentimes, people view a doctorate as more or less the pinnacle of the educational attainment pyramid, where years of learning cumulate to expertise and a certain air of intellectual superiority. I encounter this perception in conversations with people where a mention of someone “doing a PhD” places them, rather inexplicably, on a different rung of society, for better or for worse.
This association of PhD with intellectual and educational distinction overlooks a more common reality of the degree: that like any other degree, it is a learning experience. Even if PhD students enter their programs with considerable experience in the educational system (that is, the one which most of the general public goes through), many of these students are also complete beginners at much of what they will encounter throughout their degree.
I was deliberating this novice status of PhD students when I came across Dr. James Hayton’s book titled “PhD: An uncommon guide to research, writing, and PhD life”. Hayton similarly uses the pyramid visual to illustrate an alternative perspective, that while a PhD sits at the top of the formal education system, it occupies the bottom rung of the professional academic world. Put more crudely, doing a PhD isn’t all that, and that even with a PhD, you’re still on the lowest step of this professional academic endeavor. Well, of course Hayton’s point isn’t so pessimistic, but I think the message about being a beginner is worth considering.
We don’t often view a PhD as another learning step because the doctorate education is so heavily focused on achievements, outputs, and performance in publishing and academic activities. Even I get the feeling that it would be self-indulgent to overstate the learning and exploration aspect of this degree, because at some point, we ought to get out there and make a living, rather than dwelling in this abstract world of perpetual learning. Still, I think it’s valuable to reframe how PhD students approach their degree. We ought to think of ourselves as novices learning a new craft, rather than accomplished students who must continually prove that we’re among the best of the best. I find this distinction quite liberating, especially as I embark on this degree.
And so, I like to approach my PhD as a process of ‘leveling up’ my abilities in many of the areas where researchers are expected to be proficient at. Like in games, we start as novices who only grow familiar with and competent at specific tasks and quests with time, practice, and experimentation. The key is to not get frustrated if you don’t nail it right away. In fact, it’s the evolution and growth in skills and abilities that make games fulfilling. One moment, you are grappling with a new skill, then the next, you finally can execute it with ease, which gives you a sense of fulfillment and accomplishment. I want to approach my PhD the same way: by focusing on the getting better at one skill at a time.
I can foresee several benefits to this mindset. For one thing, this can relieve the pressure when facing the seemingly insurmountable workload that a doctoral thesis will eventually descend on me. Any serial procrastinator, whether former or still practicing, is familiar with the struggle of facing a task so daunting that they cannot bring themself to begin. In my mind, viewing my PhD work as tiny steps that get myself up a ladder of skill can ease the pressure of having to toil through a 200-page thesis significantly. Focusing on small improvements shifts the weight onto active efforts and input into the thesis, and away from producing enormous writing output. The work itself doesn’t necessarily become easier or less, but the scale at which I challenge myself is a lot more manageable.
Another benefit comes in moments when imposter syndrome may creep up on me. When I focus on incremental improvements rather than how I measure up against arbitrary yardstick of achievement, I will much less likely feel like an imposter. Because learning and improving is such a personal process, it can’t be subject to external evaluation, and certainly not to non-sense claims about how many publications or presentations a PhD graduate need to have under their belt. Being a novice who is still learning doesn’t exclude me from being here; it is part of the reason I am here in the first place.
Lastly and most significantly perhaps, treating the PhD as a journey to become genuinely better at the things that matter to me can make it all the more worthwhile and meaningful. There are structures and expectations in any PhD program and supervisory relationship (which I will return to talk about in a later blog post in the series), but I cherish the freedom to shape my own interests, explore the theories and methods that speak to me, and hone a particular set of skills that I consider essential to my path. By the end of this degree, if I become more well-versed in these topics and more proficient in this small selection of skills, then I count my PhD a success. [I’d also add that Mowbray & Halse (2010) capture the essence of this journey of self-cultivation through their student interviews extremely well].
I chose to go back to school because I genuinely like the process of encountering new knowledge and ways of doing things, taking my time to think stuff through, forming my own reasoning and opinions, and producing something valuable that can be my ‘pay-back’ for the learning I have been granted. A PhD gives me the structure to do all that well. There is little else that motivates me other than this intrinsic joy of being allowed to learn and making steady improvement, with consistent feedback from those who are more experienced in this process than I am. So, from my humble vantage point of a beginner, I take my first steps.
References
- Hayton, J. (2015). PhD : an uncommon guide to research, writing & PhD life. James Hayton.
- Mowbray, S., & Halse, C. (2010). The purpose of the PhD: Theorising the skills acquired by students. Higher Education Research & Development, 29(6), 653–664. https://doi.org/10.1080/07294360.2010.487199